covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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