who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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