I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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