i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
