Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
