my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
