i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
