dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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