just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Will exercising make me less horny?
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