Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
