yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
