There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
