I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize