Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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