dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
