If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
