There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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