There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
