Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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