dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
