Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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