In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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