dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
