Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Pants are for mortals
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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