I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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