32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
