After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
