You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize