We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
