even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
