It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So apparently I’m into choking now
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