We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
