What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
