dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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