i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think I just sharted jello shots
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
