By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
