If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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