Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
