i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
