If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
