I want to stick my p in your. b.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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