We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
