stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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