we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
