Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
