Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize