I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
