we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
