I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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