Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have tasted many bathrooms
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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