She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize