Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize