I'm really into asian looking animals
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
ok first of all what the fuck
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
