Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
