I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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