I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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