His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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