Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Panties = found
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