fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
