Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
