Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
