now i know why i became what i already was.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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