i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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