i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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