I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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