OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize