you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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