I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
