but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So squirting runs in the family.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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