he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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