"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
